Keep Choosing Joy

“Whatever you hold in your mind will tend to occur in your life. If you continue to believe as you have always believed, you will continue to act how you have always acted. If you continue to act as you have always acted, you will continue to get what you have always gotten. If you want different results in your life or your work, all you have to do is change your mind” – Anonymous

I read that quote for the first time in, I believe, January or February. It is the perfect introduction that sets you off on a journey of changing your mind set in the book 'Power Thoughts' by Joyce Meyer.  I had listened to messages and read book where they touched on the topic, and I also have had my own thoughts on the topic challenged and changed as I have grown and learned; the idea that we choose our thoughts, and those thoughts can change our life, is a pretty huge thing to wrap your head around.

In my journey so far, I have found I tend to focus on ‘Love’ as an overall theme for everything I do. While it perhaps doesn’t always come across that way (yay for learning and growing!), it is the way I strive to act and conduct myself. I am aware that sometimes tough love is required, and loving people doesn’t always mean giving them answers they want to hear, but love is an incredible thing and truly needs to be expressed as the sole motive behind every single thing we do or say.

While choosing love can sometimes be difficult, choosing joy can sometimes be harder. I am the classic case of ‘I’m tired and hungry which means I’m grumpy and I don’t want to be around people or do anything and I just want to nap and play with a kitten and eat sweets and watch something cheesy’. Anyone else share these same oh-so lovely character traits? Choosing joy means, in the midst of whatever is happening, you are choosing to be positive—looking on the bright side of things when every thing and perhaps every one around you is encouraging the more negative side to take centre stage.

Kittens and cupcakes-- instant joy.

Why do we do this? Why do we allow negativity at the forefront of our minds? I think it’s probably because it’s easy. It’s a lot easier to be down in the dumps when your paycheque isn’t as big as you want it to be, when you can’t afford the new clothes, new house, or vacation you want. When you can’t see friends as often as you would like, when there’s no one physically around when you want someone there, when your dreams aren’t becoming reality. A lesson which needs to be learned is being negative about these things isn’t going to make them any better. Being negative isn’t going to improve the situation—it’s going to do the opposite. You are going to focus so much on the negative that any situation or circumstance that is less than ideal in your life is going to go from the size of a rain drop to the size of a tidal wave.

I’m not devaluing the importance of feeling emotions, or saying when the worst things happen you have to pretend to be happy and like nothing bothers you. I’m actually kind of saying the opposite….

While bad things happen and situations may not be what you hoped, there are always so many reasons to choose joy. When I’m feeling down in the dumps (and don’t have any kittens or candy around) I start to make a mental list of things I am thankful for. Sometimes this list starts as simple as acknowledging the every day things I take for granted which sustain life as I know it:

‘I am thankful my body works in amazing ways I don’t even understand.

I am thankful I have hands that allow me to create things.

I am thankful I have legs and feet that work so I can bike and run.

I am thankful I have food in the fridge and a roof over my head.

I am thankful I have clothing to wear that I got to pick out because I liked it.

I am thankful I breathe.

I am thankful I have a bed.

I am thankful for safety and protection.’

As soon as I start focusing on the things I am thankful for, I automatically start to feel a jump in my heart that spreads through my veins and leaves a smile on my face. I can’t help but be blown away by the sheer magnitude of greatness of the daily things I take for granted. This gratefulness almost always turns into joy. If I am not feeling joyful yet, I continue my thankful list:

‘I am thankful for friends who I can reach out when I need them.

I am thankful for a husband who encourages me, challenges me and supports me.

I am thankful for Love.

I am thankful for God who loves me and has more thoughts toward me they outnumber the grains of sand!

I am thankful for my workplace.

I am thankful for passions.

I am thankful for joy.’

I am thankful for joy.

I become so in awe of the fact I can choose to be happy in the midst of life, I can do a few things:

1. I can acknowledge how remaining negative and dwelling on things does nothing to improve the situation but actually makes it worse. Had I continued to be negative, the littlest things would have seemed catastrophic and I would have left no room for joy to begin to grow again.
2. I can assess the situations with a clearer headspace. I am no longer feeding the negativity. I am focusing on joy and being positive. This achieves a lovely balance for productive problem solving.
3. I can be positive. In the midst of what is happening around me, I know that being positive is good for my mental, physical and spiritual health. I will make better choices in all areas of life, I will surround myself with positive influences, I will continue on a path of positivity.

I used to be confused when people would talk about choosing joy. It seemed to me people were devaluing the things we, as human beings, feel and experience. It seemed so fake—like when we are having the worst day we are supposed to just smile and say cheesy things like “Everything happens for a reason!” (not true!) or “It’s in God’s hands!” (yes, God takes care of situations but we need to actively pursue the life His word tells us we should strive to live!).  This, to me, is crazy. If I feel bad, I feel bad. But the bottom line is I don’t want to feel that way so I’m going to change it—from the inside, not just the face I’m putting to the outside. Too many approaches, like those previously mentioned, also remove from us our ability and responsibility to change how we feel and think to ensure we live a happier life—they leave us thinking we need to learn to live in the midst of negativity. The truth is, we need to learn to leave negativity behind and focus on positivity.

Power Thoughts by Joyce Meyer was an awesome book that challenged you every single week with a new power thought. From things like ‘I love people and I enjoy helping them’ to ‘I am difficult to offend’, ‘I live in the present and enjoy each moment’, to ‘I put God first in my life’. There are 12 power thoughts and I plan to put them all on my wall to remind me that life doesn’t have to be spent wondering how in the world you can make things right, be happy, and overcome the negativity in your life. You can actively choose how you think to ensure you are continually choosing joy in the midst of what comes your way in life.

Images in body of blog courtesy of Pinterest

Dreams Come True!: Thailand

“Dreams come true!”

Ask anyone I am surrounded by on a daily basis; I say the above statement quite frequently in regards to the silliest, simplest things.

Example: At work a co-worker will leave chicken for me to use on pizzas. She’ll say something like “Aelea, I left you chicken for pizzas!” and I’ll respond with “Dreams come true!”

Another Example: At work a co-worker will have taken out the compost already and my response will be “Dreams come true!”

I don’t know when I started saying it, I really don’t know why I say it so often, but a good part of me guesses it’s due to the whole ‘choosing positivity in every situation’ thing I try to do. Anytime something good happens I respond with “dreams come true!” It’s like giving an extra shot of enthusiasm to the little things that help make life awesome.

When I think back to the two experiences I’ve had in Thailand, I often think the perfect description to attach to the feelings and adventures is “dreams come true!”. Oh yes, that sounds cheesy, and it might be a little lame, but as I often mention, it’s the little things that make a difference—and it’s the smallest of dreams coming true half way around the world with special people that can make all the difference.

The first time I was in Thailand, on our final day at the Children’s home we had an epic goodbye party. Now, I know I shouldn’t compare the goodbye party from 2012 to the goodbye party in 2014 but we all know I do. The goodbye party in 2012, being my first, will always hold special significance in my heart. It was the day we said goodbye to these adorable little humans that changed our hearts forever in the way they so selflessly and unconditionally loved us foreigners. We came to help them, and they all helped us in more ways then we could possibly imagine and describe. It’s the special moments shared throughout the week which see their climax at the goodbye party. You play games, you laugh, you eat till you’re stuffed, you dodge bugs, you hug, people cry (I’m generally an exception), and you tell the kids you now cherish you hope to see them again one day.

The children’s home generally has quite the party planned—the meal is special, the games are special, everything about it is out of the ordinary for the daily lives of the kids. Two of the final activities involve saying goodbye in an organized manner so you have a chance to say goodbye to everyone, and one of the other activities are sending off lanterns into the sky!

Ahh the lantern scene in Tanged. Thanks Google image search.

I had always wanted to send off a giant lantern into the sky. Seeing it in movies like Tangled (what would we do without Disney to give us these romantic ideas of whimsy?) created in me a desire to live this magical experience. It was a dream of mine to release a lantern and this dream I held on to in my heart, never spoken out loud, became a reality on the night of the goodbye party. With the little girls I had gotten to know, we released a lantern into the sky before saying our final good byes. While this dream may seem small, it’s often the littlest things that carry the most meaning; the smallest moments creating the brightest memories. This unspoken dream of mine filled my heart with an indescribable feeling of joy, love and overwhelming enchantment—to this day I can close my eyes and I feel I am back in the moment. Releasing the lantern, looking up to the sky and feeling those same emotions grow in my chest.

This year at the goodbye party another unspoken dream came true on the very same night—the goodbye party. This may sound lame, and I’m OK with that, but I have this love for floral crowns. Yes, yes, I know, I know, what?!?! Am I seriously going to write about wearing flowers on my head? You know what, I am. Remember, the littlest experiences can hold the most significance—especially when shared with a little girl who has held a place in your heart since the first time you met her two years ago.

Thanks, Pinterest. We all knew you could never fail me in a search for
Floral crowns!

So, floral crowns. Have you seen them gracing magazine covers and bridal inspiration shoots over the past couple of years? They are an embodiment of regal grace, fairy-like magic, and the perfect rustic adornment. Floral crowns have a way of taking any model and turning her into a woodland creature you can’t help but be captivated by. Seriously, a floral crown does that and can do that to anyone. I admit, I wasn’t always sold on the idea, but as time went on I began to love it. It’s simple and beautiful.

A part of me has always wanted to wear a floral crown. And while I have always wanted to do so, there really aren’t many opportunities kicking around for your average lady to do so. However, since this had always been an unspoken dream, it was OK I hadn’t yet found an opportunity to do so. I would wait. Opportunities will always present themselves… and let’s be honest, it would be kind of weird to be actively looking for opportunities to wear one.

At the goodbye party I was hanging out with the special little girl I bonded with the most the first time I was in Thailand. Since we weren’t in the same ‘animal’ group, we didn’t spend too much time together during the trip. This, however, didn’t stop us from connecting whenever we had the chance. These connecting moments came in the form of showing me her artwork, tapping her on the shoulder and exchanging smiles and waves when we would cross paths, being partners in games when you could choose who you were with, and, of course, spending as much time together during the goodbye party that we could.

Photo booth style!

We did as much together as we could; she taught me a rock catching game, we watched the fashion show and performances together, took an array of photo booth style photographs… it reminded me of the first year I met her. It was so fun to see her personality grow and see her stronger characteristics come out in full force. She’s a leader, a mother-like figure, and always takes care of me as much as she can. She’s also athletic and silly and enjoys showing off too. She’s awesome. While hanging out during the evening she got her hands on some lovely flowers which had been strung together. One of the girls who lives at the home was wearing one of the same as a floral crown *swoon* with a gold dress for the fashion show. Oranut, in all her tomboy sportiness came over to me with the flowers and placed it on my head as a floral crown to wear for the remainder of the evening.

How did she know my little unspoken dream of wanting to wear a floral crown? She didn’t. All she knew was what she felt to do in the moment and acted upon it—a simple act of love that changed my world.

Back at the hotel after the goodbye party.
Floral crown still on my head.

We too often think dreams have to be these elaborate visions with grandiose plots and even bigger final achievements. Dreaming big is so very important to get you to where you want to be in life, but little dreams able to be fulfilled by the simplest acts are the ones that make day-to-day living worth experiencing. Perhaps you’ve dreamed of dying your hair some fun colour, or owning a pet, making an epic Jamie Oliver-esque meal, getting a tattoo, making it through a tough time in your life, or learning how to knit. No dream is too small, and no dream should be devalued. If your only dreams will take years to accomplish, what will make today special?

‘Dreams come true’ every single day, you just need the little dreams, the simple ones, to be part of your dreamscape. When dreams come true, no matter the size, the feeling can be indescribable except to yourself and the person who acted upon their instinct and can see you experience the joy the moment has brought.

A video of us floating away the paper lanterns at this years goodbye party!

Greenhouses & Elephants: Thailand

One of the best parts of Hero Holiday trips with Live Different is the ‘building project’. This project will vary depending what trip you happen to be attending. In Mexico and Dominican Republic you will build a house for a family, in Haiti you help build a school. The building project in tThailand is a little different. Our volunteers only travel once a year to the children's home which also receives sustainable funding from other organizations. This makes a ‘year after year’ project a little more difficult. So, this year, we built a greenhouse.

A greenhouse, you ask? Your first thought is probably ‘cool’. Then you really think about it and question why, in a place so hot year round, we would build a greenhouse. Well, this particular greenhouse is almost the opposite of what we are used to in Canada. Our Canadian greenhouses are designed to keep heat in, allow in sunlight, etc. The greenhouse we built in Thailand was thoughtfully composed to keep the sun out. Keeping the sun out means the plants have an opportunity to grow without being burnt by the hot rays of sunshine.

A few things make this particular project amazing:

Putting up the netting for the greenhouse!

1. As volunteers, we were able to see the previous attempts the home took to grow vegetables in the space where the greenhouse was going to be built. It was obvious this was a need—a need that was only discovered after their basic needs were met. This home has dormitory spaces for the children, a library and meditation area, washroom facilities, common areas and a massive basketball/random sport court. Once the basic needs were met, the home was able to dream about ways to make themselves sustainable and also turn a profit from markets. Enter, the greenhouse.
2. This project required everyone. Teamwork is always the best—especially when working on such a beneficial project. The older boys helped dig holes and mix cement, the younger kids jumped in on the bucket line to transfer said cement to said holes to hold the posts in place, the older girls helped stitch the netting/fabric for the top of the greenhouse—there was a job for everyone who wanted one! Even the really young kids helped plant some seeds so they could begin to sprout! It was only with this teamwork the goal was accomplished.
3. On the last day the home throws an awesome Goodbye Party! As part of the farewell they extended an invitation for us to return next year and eat the vegetables they will be growing!

It’s amazing how a big vision, paired with driven teamwork, can create something so outstanding!

That same concept is true where we had the surreal opportunity to ride elephants! Anantara is a super fancy hotel that also has an elephant and Mahout rescue program. Commonly elephants are kept as street-begging elephants, are abused and are not kept properly to sustain their long lives. Anantara rescues not only the elephant, but the mahout as well. An elephants Mahout is their owner, the individual who has trained them and has done life with them. This person is valuable to the survival of the elephant. Since elephants live so long, the mahout is often with the elephant from the beginning! Rescuing both the Mahout and elephant means the elephant is safe and properly cared for and the mahout and their family receives a wage, shelter, and education! Anantara even rents the elephants from the Mahouts for the use at the hotel! It’s such an amazing model that does incredible things to both protect the elephants and the owners families.

Riding elephants is quite the experience! The elephant I rode is named Lana. She is 28 years old and was a hungry lady! Let me tell you, the last thing I wanted was a 'hangry' elephant so we let her eat! When learning to ride an elephant you are taught how to mount, commands to move the elephant forward, backwards, left, right and how to stop. You learn to dismount and then mount again another way.

Lana and I chilling in the water.... before I became
completely drenched!

After our Elephant 101 crash course it was our turn to mount the elephants! It was a little scary at first—I mean, these are elephants! They are massive animals— It is kind of intimidating. However, you get up, do a little test course having your elephant go around pylons, start and stop, and then we were on our way! We rode the elephants around the amazing property and even had a little water time with them which resulted in a lot of laughter, awesome pictures and some extremely soaked volunteers—myself included.

I took this opportunity to chat with the Mahout who owns Lana. He was a lovely gentleman of 35 years old who has owned Lana for over 15 years. He is from Thailand and, while a few other sentiments were exchanged about how he enjoys being at Anantara, he didn’t know enough English to understand the other questions I was asking. It was wonderful to know that our fun was contributing to the sustainability of such an amazing program.

The team of volunteers and their elephants!

It is through experiencing moments, like seeing a greenhouse take shape and riding elephants, we are tangibly shown the good that can come from expanding on potential which exists only once needs are met. To often, after a need is met, the deliverers leave expecting those who have received to easily grow without any further attention. Love, guidance, and encouragement are all needed to continue growth and to reach levels of potential which could have previously been unfathomable.

Courage: Thailand

Hearing stories have this amazing way of transporting us from eager listeners to supporting characters in the words being brought to life before us. I am currently addicted to the show “Once Upon A Time”. A friend of mine and I are both into the show and can’t get enough of it. It’s to the point where when I sleep at night, I dream about the characters—their lives, stories, where the plot is headed, and I happen to be involved somehow. I’m never a major character, but someone who is around viewing the happenings eager to lend a hand, an ear, or sometimes, even a little magic.

Magic, as people say, is all around us. I guess it’s what we view magic to be which varies. The idea of magic can be described as the whimsical beauty in the creation around us. The grand ideas people have, the way they are put to action with nothing more than a leap of faith, the power coming from within to change your circumstance, or the circumstances of those around you, for the better —that is truly incredible and could easily be classified as magic. 

When our team of volunteers visit the drop-in centre, a common question is how kids are able to cross the border from Myanmar to Thailand—to cross over from being at risk for exploitation, exploited or living in the garbage dump to the safe haven of the drop-in centre or hopefully the children’s home. There’s a bridge which connects the two countries. This bridge is comparable to any other border crossing—security on each side. You must show your passport, pay any fees that may exist, fill out immigration forms, all the generic stuff. What makes this crossing different is the bridge itself is sort of a ‘no-man’s land’, if you will. The bridge is between the two places and leaves you in transit from one place to the next. The bridge belongs to no one—except the individuals who sit on the sidewalks and beg, the kids who are selling easy-buy items or the children who play beneath in the water.

Myanmar on one side, Thailand on the other.

The river below has kids swimming in and across it. As I’m sure it comes as no surprise, these kids are often referred to as ‘bridge kids’. As kids who either play beneath the bridge, or beg on the bridge, these kids are often stateless with no side really taking responsibility for where they should be.  Parents are often either not around or the ones encouraging the kids to do the begging or selling of cigarettes or other items to make a quick buck for their family.

So, how do these at risk children or those stuck in unimaginable situations, when seeking safety, get across the border to come to the drop-in centre or to the children’s home? There’s a wonderful lady who aids those children and brings them across the border from Burma to Thailand. As a former Catholic Nun, she has quite an interesting background and a whole lot of spunk. As you can imagine, she has to bring these children across with no passport and often not even one single piece of identification.  When asking how she does what can be viewed as the impossible, the response from the workers at the drop-in centre is simple; “Just courage, just be brave to do what you have to do. If you have evidence you won’t hurt the child there can be negotiation over bringing the child across. Just in the right place at the right time.”

“Just courage, just be brave to do what you have to do.”

In a recent episode of Once Upon A Time the Wicked Witch of the West is attempting to travel back in time. To do so, she needs certain items for her spell. These items include a brain, a heart, innocence (which is portrayed as a new-born baby) and courage.  Courage is one of the main requirements for magic to reach its full potential and transport the witch back in time to re-create her destiny.

In the story of the worker I can easily see how her courage is like magic; how her courage finds her in the right place at the right time to receive compassion and understanding so she can bring across children to safety in Thailand. Against all odds she prevails and is able to save children from the understandably described as evil situations they are in. Even more like magic, in passing from Myanmar to Thailand in what is an instant in comparison to the length of life's journey, the lives of these children will have a future brighter than anyone could have imagined.

The Girl In The Picture: Thailand

Myanmar.

What an interesting place to travel to.

When you cross the border they take away your passport and give you a temporary piece of identification that becomes your lifeline. It contains a picture of yourself taken that day by the border security, your passport number, name (excluding your last name), birthdate and a number. That number is your connection to your passport the government is now holding. Upon leaving Myanmar, you hand in this piece of paper and retrieve back your oh-so-valued Canadian passport.

This process leaves many volunteers feeling vulnerable and, to put it quite honestly, kind of sketched out. You have been told all your life how precious your passport is—keep an eye on it, never let it leave your side when you are travelling, lock it in a safe when you arrive at your destination, keep a photocopy in your luggage, take a picture. Your passport, especially one of Canadian citizenship, is beyond valuable to the bearer and allows you access to anywhere your heart desires in the entire world. And here you are, trying to access another country only to find out they are going to take it away and hand you a flimsy piece of card-stock with random information on it instead, while they will KEEP your passport?! That piece of card-stock becomes your everything. You guard it with your life as if it were your actual passport because handing that piece of paper back in is the only way you get your beloved passport back.

#CatLadyInBurma

This piece of card-stock comes with some limitations—you are only allowed in the country for 14 days, no sharing or transfers, and you are only allowed in the tourist zones of the country. That’s right, folks, Burma has set tourist zones where us foreigners are allowed to visit. You go too far, step out of the limits, and police have their say. We are nothing but mere tourists in this country with a troubled past and questionable present situation. As the tourists we were, we visited a couple temples (the Chinese temple had a cat which made me a happy lady #CatLadyInBurma), hit up the massive border market (my size stretchy floral print pants are perfect for 36 hours of travel) and we were sure to stay inside the tourist zone limits.

The Garbage Dump.

While in these limits we had the opportunity to drive past a very interesting area. This area is home to the beginnings of a huge international school, massive shopping complex, high end real estate, and the over 300 people that currently call the garbage dump home. The issue is, the garbage dump is quite the eye-sore in what will soon be a wealthy neighbourhood. The garbage dump is so undesirable to the vision of the area it begs the question of why they even chose to build there in the first place. Instead of building somewhere else, they have decided to clear the garbage dump of it’s residents, displacing hundreds of individuals and families who are stateless, providing no help to them. If their already dire situation wasn’t bad enough, forcing them out with no assistance is the exact way to make the situation worse. It’s unimaginable to everyone on the trip why this happens-- how the rich can easily forget the poor are human beings; individuals with value, hearts capable of love and limitless dreams.

Kru Nam answering questions
and New translating.

The child residents of the garbage dump are some of the same individuals that visit the drop-in centre on the Thailand side of the Burma/Thailand border. The drop-in centre is a place where street kids can come to get a meal, medical attention, hangout, and learn about the children’s home. Kru Nam was there the day we visited and we experienced her in action—reaching out to children and offering her help, building their trust and hoping they will accept her invitation to a life of love and education at the children’s home.

The combination of Kru Nam and eager to learn volunteers always makes for an interesting, informative, and emotional conversation. The volunteers asked many questions, and while statistics rocked our world and shattered our perceptions of Burma and the way individuals are treated, it’s the stories that stay with you and really change your heart.

One of the volunteers had asked about disease and sickness in the garbage dump—her question, as a doctor, was of how their must be so much devastation there. Kru Nams response was that if you were to ask the families living there about being sick, they would respond with ‘what do you mean?’. Their entire lives they are unwell. Sickness is normal for them—it’s common, it is something they live with every day. It’s not like how when we get sick it’s a noticeable difference from how we feel when we are ‘healthy’. For them this is how they are every single day. To expand on this with a tangible example, Kru Nam started handing around a picture of a little girl who is smiling and laughing as she stands behind a little boy who is playing the violin. The girl in the photograph, WaWa, is described as an awesome little girl. At her young age, she fell victim to the preventable sickness and disease of the garbage dump and passed away as a child of not even 13 years old. As the picture was passed and we each had the opportunity to put a face to the facts, you could see how the information went from head to heart.

Burma has the most human rights violations in the world. When the cyclone hit in 2008, the Burmese government denied the UN access to provide aid, furthering the amount of death and devastation, which could have been preventable. A noteworthy quote from the discussion referencing the situation was ‘just forget about human rights’.

The Declaration of Human Rights,
Article 25. December, 1948 hanging up
in the Mexican restaurant

A poster at a Mexican restaurant we went to in Chiang Mai references the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Article 25 from December 1948. It states:

Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood.

While it can be easy in our North American society to think the Universal Declaration of Human Rights rings true to individuals everywhere, it doesn't. For those in both our own communities, and our greater global community, there are too many WaWa’s proving this is not the case.

Thanks for the image, Pinterest!