Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Justin Bieber and Honouring my Marriage


I’ll admit I wasn’t a huge fan of the Biebs from the beginning. I can clearly recall the battle in my head while hearing one of his very first hits; ‘is this a girl singing? Or is this a guy? For sure a girl… but…maybe…it could be a guy?’
I’m sure I’m not the only one who had those thoughts.
It’s OK. You can admit it to me.

While not caring too much about his music or career, then hearing of his continually negative progression into adulthood that was shared throughout the world courtesy of our good friend, the media, I kinda had this ‘I’m not a fan of Justin Bieber’ mentality.

My wonderful husband, on the other hand…

JP loves the Biebs. Not even kidding.
Since he is a legit Belieber, we obviously had to go see the first Justin Bieber movie. While I tried to hold onto my indifferent ways, I couldn’t help but look at Justin in a whole new light. Was I becoming a belieber!? Naw, but I definitely had more respect for the dude knowing he works hard and is actually talented.

Fast forward through a few years of hearing crazy Bieber tabloid stories, husband-wife full-album Bieber dance parties in our living room, and the fact it’s 2016 and our dear Justin has done a lot of growing up, we land here—the point where I found myself anxiously anticipating his new album, Purpose, which came out this past November, and now even more anxiously awaiting his upcoming Winnipeg tour stop in June.

If you haven’t been following Justin lately, he seems to have turned a few things in life around. Not only are his latest songs the catchiest things I’ve heard in a while, a few recent interviews had led me to really appreciate the growth he’s been having. I’ve been especially intrigued by his statements of faith-- finding grace through God for his life and expressing how his purpose is to show that to others. If his catchy songs weren’t enough, look at this dude go!

While this seems like an advertisement for Justin’s new album, I can assure you it’s not (I’m not that popular that my speaking of something has any marketable value). It’s time to get real about why this post is here.

Recently amongst a group of ladies and I, the conversation came up of, in the crass yet culturally acceptable language, Justin Bieber's dick pic. While we are all quite different (different backgrounds, separate groups of friends, etc) we are all in happy and committed relationships with significant others we admire and are pleased to call ours. A girl had the image on her phone and was showing everyone. Comments were made on size and shape and whether it was ‘nice’ or not. There was laughter, and giggling, and comments about how funny it was the one girl had it saved on her phone.  One of the ladies wasn't around for the beginning of the conversation and was asked if she wanted to see. She replied with ‘No’ and walked away. Feeling a sense of comradelier after hearing her response, I, too, replied with no.

Obviously, these ‘no’ responses went against the flow of the conversation and how the reactions were going. One girl even exclaimed how it was ‘cute’ we didn’t want to see the photo.

JP's instagram- day off for Bieber
Here's the honest commentary of what I was thinking in the moment-- I respect my husband and our marriage, and looking at an image of another dudes thaaang doesn’t set an example of how much I love and honour him. I wouldn’t want him to be looking at images of girls like that—famous person or not. What message does that send to others in marriages, or those considering the vow of marriage? A marriage is when two people commit themselves to each other in every possible way—emotionally and physically. Viewing ALL of Bieber makes me dishonor my vow. That’s how I see it, anyways. I know some may disagree, I know the idea of porn being helpful to marriages is something the main stream media tells the world. I disagree. The facts are against these ideas. I wrote a whole blog post about it, which you can check out.

Not only that, women speak so often about how they don’t want to be objectified, they want to be viewed for more then just their bodies, and how self-esteem needs to stem from more than what other women and men say about how their body looks. Why do women find no shame in objectifying men? You can’t change the cycle by being part of the problem. A cycle ends when one person takes a stand outside of it and says ‘hey, this isn’t ok’.

Today a friend and I took that stand. While it can sometimes be hard to be the ‘odd ones out’ in a room of people who think the same way, it is so comforting to know I am honouring my marriage, my faith, and myself with the choices I make in what to view and what not to view.

And Justin, I still love your new album and am ridiculously pumped for the concert in June… maybe just be less provocative when there are paparazzi around, deal?

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