Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Making BIG Decisions

Styling of macarons by Ashley Nicole, macarons
(all except one flavour) baked by me :)
Making decisions can be tough.
It doesn’t matter if it’s the decision of where to eat, or the decision to move to another country, some things can be so hard to decide.

Generally, if I’m having a difficult time making a decision, it’s probably because I’m genuinely indifferent about what the result of the decision will be. I think part of the indifference comes from surrounding myself with people I am close with. If I were with friends I am becoming acquainted with, I would perhaps have more of a say in things—show my likes and dislikes more so we get to know each other’s preferences. However, more often than not, I’m with good people where decisions aren’t going to get crazy and I’ll be fine with any outcome. Welcome to adulthood.

While this indifference is definitely a good thing, and bestows upon me the title of being ‘easy going’ or ‘super chill’, it still has its downside moments. People can think you are someone who can’t make decisions, who doesn’t care about anything, or someone who is a pushover—especially if you’re with people you don’t know very well. Until those fleeting moments arrive where my voice in a matter needs to be heard, this girl is in chill mode.

Recently, my general indifference was met with a challenge—the necessity of making the biggest, most hard, decision I’ve ever had to make.

Upon moving back to Manitoba I had to seek out employment. While my radio past was eager to welcome me back with wide-open arms, I wanted to continue my baking adventures. I began my professional baking career in Hamilton and I was dead set on continuing. This brought it’s own challenges, the main one being that Winkler, Manitoba isn’t really a hot spot for gorgeously hand-crafted baked goods. Contrary to suggestions from friends to open my own bakery, I wanted to get a job within an already established producer of edible delights—there is so much I want to learn from many talented people before I head out into the baking world completely on my very own. If anything, my back up would be to do a bit of baking on the side and get a job somewhere fun—like Bulk Barn. Oh what I would make with that discount to ease the financial aspect of seeing my creativity come alive.

So, Winnipeg it was. Before our move back I began the job hunt. With perfect timing, my final class in school was Communications where we worked on resumes, cover letters and portfolios. After sending away emails with my elegantly presented information on why various businesses should hire me (even though none of them had posting saying they were actually looking for new employees) I was met with a few conversations of possibilities and, eventually, I was down to two offers—both labeled “an offer you can’t refuse”.

Well, I had to refuse one.
I had to accept one.
It was literally the hardest decision.

Some Strawberries and Cream Macarons!
Has this happened to you? You’re offered with two amazing things and you have to pick just one? It’s not an easy decision. Any sort of indifference you once had to things suddenly is gone and every moment is spent debating the two options and trying to make an educated decision.

I did everything I was supposed to do when faced with a potentially life (and career)-changing decision: I thought about it, prayed about it, confided in close friends about the options available to seek out wisdom, made pro and con lists, made lists of goals and where I see myself in the future with points on which would best help me reach them. Seriously, I did it all, and yet, when it came down to the crunch, I let my heart guide me. Despite what others saw as an amazing opportunity and the obvious offer to not refuse, I had to do it. Sometimes the opportunity to learn and be a supporting actor in a journey is better than being the lead—even if other people believe in you, and even knowing God is always there to help you along whatever path you decide.

Whenever I was thinking of which opportunity to take on, in my head an image would consistently come to mind and I knew I couldn’t ignore it… my heart was set on one place as my #1. When your heart is set, even when an opportunity seems too good to pass up, you need to follow your heart. Finances, jet-setting, and creative control aside, the opportunity to learn and grow with individuals who put out work you have admired for years is something no temporary workshop or experimenting on someone else’s dime can compete with.

It’s been over a month now and I am consistently happy with my decision. While it was hard, and while it seems kind of crazy to those who knew the opportunities I was faced with, I know it was the right decision. God puts dreams and passions in your heart for a reason. When my wonderful husband and I first decided to move back to Winkler, I recall my first thoughts being, since we would be living in Winkler, I would want to work in Winnipeg at Jenna Rae Cakes and start taking blogging more seriously.

Well, welcome to my life.
Having a gut reaction from the beginning can make a huge difference in how you approach any big decision making process. Even if you do all the right things, your heart can still have the ultimate say—even if it’s in more of an ‘I told you so’ kind of way. In moments like these I praise God for always having my best interest in mind, and for allowing me to feel His nudge in what I do. Without Him, I may have allowed worldly logic to win out and I wouldn’t be where I am today. And today, I’m right where I should be.