Soul Searching

Lately I've been doing some "soul searching", as they say. 
Thinking about what it is that brings me joy and passion, and where I feel my life's purpose is going to take me. 

The following deep thoughts were spurred on one night as I was laying in bed; with the scent of lavender guiding me to dream land, I was contemplating how I've come to find truth in the power of aromatherapy, yet I question other things people find truth and healing in like crystals... then the thought of crystal reminded me of sand and being warm on a beach... which then reminded me how, in the past 12 months, I haven't left the country. I've only left the province twice-- once to get a package across the US border, once barely into Ontario to assist a friend with a wedding she was shooting. I realized it's been so long since I've travelled I don't even know where my passport it. I realized the stagnant life of not travelling, and not doing trips to help others, has been a drain on my life force. This is the longest length of time in the past 7 years I haven't travelled with the purpose of humanitarian aid (my main reason for travel). Which leads to the obvious question...

"What am I doing with my life?!"

As a white girl in Canada, who bakes for a living and can afford a yoga membership, I have the ridiculously unfair privilege to contemplate such things. Ahh yes, the searching heart of the restless millennial. 

My foundational purpose of always to try to be more Christ-like and show love to others, had also been found in the dedication to provide education and be an activist to see human trafficking come to an end. It was woven in the fibre of my being, and helping abroad enabled me to live that out in ways I loved. The passion of seeing the injustice of human trafficking come to an end, while still there on an internalized level of putting my preaching into action of making conscious consumer choices and knowing facts to share, isn't as bold as it once was. It doesn't fuel my life. It doesn't leave me searching for more ways to help like it once did-- especially when the romanticized notion of leaving to help across the world has become more of a daydream then something so easily tangible... oh, being an adult with work and other life commitments has it's lacklustre moments.

Where does my passion now spark from?

At the root I can believe it is an encompassing ideal of wanting to inspire individuals to create, and encourage others to create, positive world change. But, c'mon, we all know I chose the word "encompassing" because it sounded fancier than broad-- which can also be a fancy way of hiding the fact it's currently a really huge grey area with no specific focus or goal. 

God created each one of us uniquely so it matters what we do. It matters what we do and how we do it. It also matters if we live our unique lives to honour Him, or without giving Him a thought. The same goal attempted to be reached without God will land you in a different place than the same goal reached with God as a guide. Heck, with God as your guide, you'll probably surpass your goal and end up somewhere so different and amazing you had no idea it was even possible.

So what do we do? If God made us unique, and gave us passions and personalities and characteristics and an immense joy in following him, what's our next step?

As a society we've become so caught up in the ideal of passion and destination and purpose as a trifecta of perfection. When you reach that amazing point in your life, all your dreams will come true, you feel invincible, everything finally adds up, your heart and life are so full you can't handle it! You shout with joy from the rooftops, live in a nice house, have a great car, go out to eat at fancy restaurants, and have overall 'made it'. This often gets tied up along with the idea the trifecta of perfectness will be found in our career. 

This is pretty inaccurate. If life has taught us anything, it's that the best laid plans will fail, your dreams and goals change over time, and 'working your way to the top' doesn't guarantee fulfillment when you arrive. We know this isn't right-- we've seen it fail time and time again. I guess the simple next step is "ask God". He knows. Read your bible, read a devotion, talk to people about faith and listen to God in quiet moments of meditation (or as you're trying to sleep with lavender softly filling the air around you). Even if you don't get an answer right away, knowing the path you're on is one of knowledge and honesty and grace is enough. 

So, where does that leave us? If relentless faith and an endless desire for God is our main goal, what does the rest matter? 

I wish I could tell you the concrete answers to these 'soul searching' questions. Honestly, I know God being our main focus and living a life rooted in love is a great place to start. 

I may not know what's next, and may not know where my passport is, but I know when I find it, the next time I use it will be for a purpose God has control over-- and along the way to my destination I'll be inspiring people to make a difference where they are at.

The Girl In The Picture: Thailand

Myanmar.

What an interesting place to travel to.

When you cross the border they take away your passport and give you a temporary piece of identification that becomes your lifeline. It contains a picture of yourself taken that day by the border security, your passport number, name (excluding your last name), birthdate and a number. That number is your connection to your passport the government is now holding. Upon leaving Myanmar, you hand in this piece of paper and retrieve back your oh-so-valued Canadian passport.

This process leaves many volunteers feeling vulnerable and, to put it quite honestly, kind of sketched out. You have been told all your life how precious your passport is—keep an eye on it, never let it leave your side when you are travelling, lock it in a safe when you arrive at your destination, keep a photocopy in your luggage, take a picture. Your passport, especially one of Canadian citizenship, is beyond valuable to the bearer and allows you access to anywhere your heart desires in the entire world. And here you are, trying to access another country only to find out they are going to take it away and hand you a flimsy piece of card-stock with random information on it instead, while they will KEEP your passport?! That piece of card-stock becomes your everything. You guard it with your life as if it were your actual passport because handing that piece of paper back in is the only way you get your beloved passport back.

#CatLadyInBurma

This piece of card-stock comes with some limitations—you are only allowed in the country for 14 days, no sharing or transfers, and you are only allowed in the tourist zones of the country. That’s right, folks, Burma has set tourist zones where us foreigners are allowed to visit. You go too far, step out of the limits, and police have their say. We are nothing but mere tourists in this country with a troubled past and questionable present situation. As the tourists we were, we visited a couple temples (the Chinese temple had a cat which made me a happy lady #CatLadyInBurma), hit up the massive border market (my size stretchy floral print pants are perfect for 36 hours of travel) and we were sure to stay inside the tourist zone limits.

The Garbage Dump.

While in these limits we had the opportunity to drive past a very interesting area. This area is home to the beginnings of a huge international school, massive shopping complex, high end real estate, and the over 300 people that currently call the garbage dump home. The issue is, the garbage dump is quite the eye-sore in what will soon be a wealthy neighbourhood. The garbage dump is so undesirable to the vision of the area it begs the question of why they even chose to build there in the first place. Instead of building somewhere else, they have decided to clear the garbage dump of it’s residents, displacing hundreds of individuals and families who are stateless, providing no help to them. If their already dire situation wasn’t bad enough, forcing them out with no assistance is the exact way to make the situation worse. It’s unimaginable to everyone on the trip why this happens-- how the rich can easily forget the poor are human beings; individuals with value, hearts capable of love and limitless dreams.

Kru Nam answering questions
and New translating.

The child residents of the garbage dump are some of the same individuals that visit the drop-in centre on the Thailand side of the Burma/Thailand border. The drop-in centre is a place where street kids can come to get a meal, medical attention, hangout, and learn about the children’s home. Kru Nam was there the day we visited and we experienced her in action—reaching out to children and offering her help, building their trust and hoping they will accept her invitation to a life of love and education at the children’s home.

The combination of Kru Nam and eager to learn volunteers always makes for an interesting, informative, and emotional conversation. The volunteers asked many questions, and while statistics rocked our world and shattered our perceptions of Burma and the way individuals are treated, it’s the stories that stay with you and really change your heart.

One of the volunteers had asked about disease and sickness in the garbage dump—her question, as a doctor, was of how their must be so much devastation there. Kru Nams response was that if you were to ask the families living there about being sick, they would respond with ‘what do you mean?’. Their entire lives they are unwell. Sickness is normal for them—it’s common, it is something they live with every day. It’s not like how when we get sick it’s a noticeable difference from how we feel when we are ‘healthy’. For them this is how they are every single day. To expand on this with a tangible example, Kru Nam started handing around a picture of a little girl who is smiling and laughing as she stands behind a little boy who is playing the violin. The girl in the photograph, WaWa, is described as an awesome little girl. At her young age, she fell victim to the preventable sickness and disease of the garbage dump and passed away as a child of not even 13 years old. As the picture was passed and we each had the opportunity to put a face to the facts, you could see how the information went from head to heart.

Burma has the most human rights violations in the world. When the cyclone hit in 2008, the Burmese government denied the UN access to provide aid, furthering the amount of death and devastation, which could have been preventable. A noteworthy quote from the discussion referencing the situation was ‘just forget about human rights’.

The Declaration of Human Rights,
Article 25. December, 1948 hanging up
in the Mexican restaurant

A poster at a Mexican restaurant we went to in Chiang Mai references the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Article 25 from December 1948. It states:

Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood.

While it can be easy in our North American society to think the Universal Declaration of Human Rights rings true to individuals everywhere, it doesn't. For those in both our own communities, and our greater global community, there are too many WaWa’s proving this is not the case.

Thanks for the image, Pinterest!