Soul Searching

Lately I've been doing some "soul searching", as they say. 
Thinking about what it is that brings me joy and passion, and where I feel my life's purpose is going to take me. 

The following deep thoughts were spurred on one night as I was laying in bed; with the scent of lavender guiding me to dream land, I was contemplating how I've come to find truth in the power of aromatherapy, yet I question other things people find truth and healing in like crystals... then the thought of crystal reminded me of sand and being warm on a beach... which then reminded me how, in the past 12 months, I haven't left the country. I've only left the province twice-- once to get a package across the US border, once barely into Ontario to assist a friend with a wedding she was shooting. I realized it's been so long since I've travelled I don't even know where my passport it. I realized the stagnant life of not travelling, and not doing trips to help others, has been a drain on my life force. This is the longest length of time in the past 7 years I haven't travelled with the purpose of humanitarian aid (my main reason for travel). Which leads to the obvious question...

"What am I doing with my life?!"

As a white girl in Canada, who bakes for a living and can afford a yoga membership, I have the ridiculously unfair privilege to contemplate such things. Ahh yes, the searching heart of the restless millennial. 

My foundational purpose of always to try to be more Christ-like and show love to others, had also been found in the dedication to provide education and be an activist to see human trafficking come to an end. It was woven in the fibre of my being, and helping abroad enabled me to live that out in ways I loved. The passion of seeing the injustice of human trafficking come to an end, while still there on an internalized level of putting my preaching into action of making conscious consumer choices and knowing facts to share, isn't as bold as it once was. It doesn't fuel my life. It doesn't leave me searching for more ways to help like it once did-- especially when the romanticized notion of leaving to help across the world has become more of a daydream then something so easily tangible... oh, being an adult with work and other life commitments has it's lacklustre moments.

Where does my passion now spark from?

At the root I can believe it is an encompassing ideal of wanting to inspire individuals to create, and encourage others to create, positive world change. But, c'mon, we all know I chose the word "encompassing" because it sounded fancier than broad-- which can also be a fancy way of hiding the fact it's currently a really huge grey area with no specific focus or goal. 

God created each one of us uniquely so it matters what we do. It matters what we do and how we do it. It also matters if we live our unique lives to honour Him, or without giving Him a thought. The same goal attempted to be reached without God will land you in a different place than the same goal reached with God as a guide. Heck, with God as your guide, you'll probably surpass your goal and end up somewhere so different and amazing you had no idea it was even possible.

So what do we do? If God made us unique, and gave us passions and personalities and characteristics and an immense joy in following him, what's our next step?

As a society we've become so caught up in the ideal of passion and destination and purpose as a trifecta of perfection. When you reach that amazing point in your life, all your dreams will come true, you feel invincible, everything finally adds up, your heart and life are so full you can't handle it! You shout with joy from the rooftops, live in a nice house, have a great car, go out to eat at fancy restaurants, and have overall 'made it'. This often gets tied up along with the idea the trifecta of perfectness will be found in our career. 

This is pretty inaccurate. If life has taught us anything, it's that the best laid plans will fail, your dreams and goals change over time, and 'working your way to the top' doesn't guarantee fulfillment when you arrive. We know this isn't right-- we've seen it fail time and time again. I guess the simple next step is "ask God". He knows. Read your bible, read a devotion, talk to people about faith and listen to God in quiet moments of meditation (or as you're trying to sleep with lavender softly filling the air around you). Even if you don't get an answer right away, knowing the path you're on is one of knowledge and honesty and grace is enough. 

So, where does that leave us? If relentless faith and an endless desire for God is our main goal, what does the rest matter? 

I wish I could tell you the concrete answers to these 'soul searching' questions. Honestly, I know God being our main focus and living a life rooted in love is a great place to start. 

I may not know what's next, and may not know where my passport is, but I know when I find it, the next time I use it will be for a purpose God has control over-- and along the way to my destination I'll be inspiring people to make a difference where they are at.

Brave

If you’ve ever taken a personality profile test, you’ve probably stumbled across the part of the configuration process where you are provided a page of seemingly endless characteristics and qualities. Most of the time, you are instructed to either pick the words that most accurately describe you, or to select the words others would use to best describe you.

We pick the words we are familiar with—words we have heard before when people have talked about us, characteristics our friends and family mention they admire in us, or even those words we remember our astrological sign being strong in from when we read our horoscope as a kid in some teen magazine. These words probably don’t change much as time goes on—perhaps we add in a word or two down the line from recent accomplishments, or remove a word if we are limited in the number we are allowed to select. While we change as individuals, with variances in interests and goals and ideals, the very makings of who we are tend to stay somewhat steady. It is our character, after all, it defines us in the choices we make, our moral compass and how we choose to live our lives.

My standard go to descriptors would be the package of sentiments involving ‘honest’, ‘trustworthy’, ‘kind’, etc. Brave is definitely not a word I would ever circle, click, or otherwise select to describe the person I am. I’ve only recently accepted I’m an individual who craves adventure in their life—brave seems like a way too big of a jump in the progression of my character.

instagram: @loveinspireschange

While at a yoga inversions class the instructor was encouraging us, and our progress. Being an inversions newbie, I was just pleased I had the strength to even hold myself upside down, or do an arm balance, or really just be able to have my heels touch the ground in downward dog. When she got to me I had no thoughts or expectations of what she would say—if I think about it now I would expect something along the lines of how I’ve really committed to attending the class, which is fun and exciting! Instead, she surprised me with saying I was Brave. How I had no fear. How I was willing to try anything.

I smiled awkwardly at such remarks—I’m the honest, trustworthy, compassionate kind of girl. I’m not the brave, try anything kind of girl. Is this a real change? Is this part of how my character has been developing over the years? Would others describe me in this way? Or is it some elaborate facade I’ve unknowingly put up that others would see but wouldn’t be true in my heart?

I think we can get stuck in who we believe we are. We believe the characteristics of who we have been in the past to be the only unchanging truths we can centre ourselves on as life spins and changes and dives deeper in the unknowns. We don’t consciously sit there and think ‘This is who I have been forever, this is who I will continue to be’ per say, but if personality test after strength finder test after buzzfeed quiz can speak in what they see, I’m sure the answers we have been putting in since our youth would resonate with only slight modifications into the now.

The beginning of a new year brings the excitement of advancement and change. Challenge yourself to reflect on who you think you are and who you always have been, and look at where life has taken you and how it has shaped you to advance your character in unimaginable ways.

While steeping in the word Brave I am reminded of how bravery; being fearless, and enduring with courage, are things we can gain from a Christ-centred life. With God on your side there is no reason to be afraid. We can move forward confidently, with hopeful expectation of magnificent outcomes. The outcomes may be undefined, the first few steps may be shaky—but taking the steps is what makes you brave. Even if they are small, they are steps and the steps show courage.

I will willingly add Brave to my list of descriptors, and will look at words to remove which no longer serve the individual I am continually growing in Christ to be.  It’s fun to see how far we’ve come as humans constantly under development, it’s exciting to leave behind the old and embrace the new.

As we reflect and challenge our views of ourselves, I will leave you with this reminder for your 2016: As the live-action Cinderella movie tells us;

Have Courage & Be Kind.

#2015BestNine

I’m sure you’ve seen the flawlessly put together images as you scroll through your Instagram feed-- mommy bloggers, inspiring publications, home and lifestyle styling gurus, all posting these perfect images weaved together in a 3 by 3 grid to showcase their pictures with the ‘most likes’ received throughout 2015.

While I will take part in this trend as a fun way to look back on the advancement of my baking skills (since it’s all maracons and cakes people like on my feed anyways), I am reminded that even though the ‘likes’ on social media of the picture-perfect moments we share may be awarded the title of ‘Best Nine’, we should take time to reflect on the real best moments of 2015. These are the moments not put on social media for the world to see, but those that have left us a little more humble, a little more grateful, and a little more in awe of how God works wonders in our lives when we surrender to Him the room to lead while we follow.

What’s so fascinating about our personal Best Nine is how they can be composed of things no one even knows happened. The quiet moments of overcoming a struggle, the sigh of relief signaling the completion of a job well done, or the reflection of time where leaps of faith transformed a chaotic canvas into God-send scenes of tranquility in the landscape of our lives. These moments, unlike those we view on Instagram, aren’t always pretty. Sometimes they are gritty and covered in years of battle scars. However, sometimes they are truly as beautiful—moments of triumph and success willingly shared with those around you to spread love and joy.

When I think of my best moments of 2015, a lot of them are the results of hard decisions and hard work—not the things you post on social media that would garner many ‘likes’ for their lack of mindful composition and precise colour palette.

The craziest thing to happen in 2015 was the move back to Manitoba. I’ve written about it before and it still amazes me that we are here (and have been back for almost an entire year!). This move spiralled into a year where my 2015 theme word really shone through in unimaginable ways. My word, by the way, was Thrive, and while reflecting on the year that has past I can see how I’ve managed to live it out.

Memorable moments of 2015 include the decision to work at Jenna Rae Cakes and the growth, challenges and goodness which has resulted; moving to Winnipeg instead of staying in Winkler; being intentional with relationships in a way I’ve never been before and the result; and finally becoming more pleased with myself than hard on myself in terms of self-esteem, confidence and body image. Especially noteworthy moments include the return of my wonderful husband from Dubai and resuming life together, fully enjoying all the benefits of cat-ownership, and learning more about myself as I evolve into the person God has designed me to be—focusing on virtues important to eternal life and not those that communicate success in the mainstream.

Reflecting on these best moments gives me immense gratitude for trials and struggles and moments where God has to come through (um, hello finding an apartment two days before we had to move). In the good moments and the more trying moments God is there to guide—if we let Him show us the way, and if we choose to follow. 

That is what I think my theme for 2016 will be.

While 2015’s word of Thrive made it easy to focus on success and accomplishments, 2016 needs to step away from the idea of wordly success and focus more on living a Christ-centered life. The general sentiment (while still working on ideal phrasing) is: Listen and Live Out.

It’s one thing to speak to God…and ask, and complain, and express gratitude, and praise, and express thankfulness and fears and joys. It’s another thing to listen to answers and receive guidance. And it’s a whole different ball game (ha, sports) when you decide to internalize the lessons and live it out.

Living out a life where God leads will be uncomfortable.

It will be contrary to societal views of success, in its various forms.

It will be challenging.

It will be unique.

It will be scary.

It will be different then anything I have ever imagined my life to be, because God has direction for our lives more grand then we can, and could, ever imagine.

More than anything, it will be this:

Full of Love

Happy Holidays from our little family
to yours! 

Everything God does is rooted in the context of a loving relationship. Moments will be scary because they will require looking ridiculous to people, and doing things that don’t seem normal, and stepping out with faith in unknown rooms where no lights have yet been turned on.  But all the lessons learned, challenges along the way, and unimaginable end results will be sewn with strands of Love to create the very fabric of it’s existence. To know Love is the base makes it all sorts of intriguing.

Here’s to your Best of 2015 and to an even more amazing 2016. I hope your best moments of 2015 guide you into a 2016 with more than a #BestNine, but a life lived with grace and love and challenge and grit all the moments of make 2016 your best yet.

Happy Holidays from our little family to yours!

Walk The Walk

“Don’t just talk the talk, walk the walk.”

“Actions speak louder than Words”

These two phrases are as common as the changing leaves in autumn—and the sure denial we all live in when we attempt to remain stagnant in the beauty of fall, wishing the winter freeze would never creep in. We’ve heard them before, and with most things we deem familiar, their impact is often lost when we hear them.

Today, right in this very moment, I want you to stop and think about the two phrases; how they complement and challenge each other, and how they bring to life the ideals of people living out beautiful sentiments like a fairytale ending of ‘happily ever after.’

When I think of these phrases, I am reminded of how Christ followers are called to live a life like Jesus. It’s the impossible task, made accessible through grace. It’s something we cannot do, but are commissioned to strive to do in our actions of love and mercy, forgiveness and joy, passion and justice, and extending our undeserved grace to others. When you walk the walk, and allow your actions to speak louder than words, you are showcasing what is really in your heart— the hope being all those beautiful, Christ-like characteristics.

This year, I have decided to ‘walk the walk’, literally.

I have decided to take a cause I am passionate about, and not just write about it on my blog, or talk about it to people whose caring meter reads at every point from genuine interest to genuine indifference, but to stand up with a group of like-minded individuals and do something publicly to show where my heart truly lies—yearning to seek justice for the oppressed and see the captives be set free!

An organization I’ve come to know and love over the past year or so is the A21 campaign. Along with organizations I’ve been involved with like Not For Sale, the A21 campaign is working to end modern-day slavery. Their 4-P model address the core issues needed to end slavery today:

Prevention – Preventing human trafficking through awareness and education.

Protection – Protecting victims of human trafficking through restoration programs.

Prosecution – Pursuing justice by prosecuting human traffickers.

Partnership – Partnering with people just like you and me to fight for freedom together.

The goal of the A21 campaign is to abolish injustice in the 21^st century.

I believe in this goal.

I will not be a slactivist and merely browse their website and follow them on Instagram.

I will take part in the Walk ForFreedom.

On October 17^th, individuals passionate about ending modern-day slavery will join together to shed light on the 27 million men, women and children who are still in bondage. When we join forces in one single day, we not only catch the attention of our cities, but we combine our efforts to have a global impact.

Something as simple as walking together with a unified message can help change the world. The Walk For Freedom will have people literally ‘walking the walk’ and allowing their actions to speak louder than words. It’s such a simple task—join together and walk to raise awareness, educate those around us, and hopefully create more activists in the process. I’m so looking forward to participating in something with a simple message that can impact our entire global community—and participating right here in the world where I currently call ‘home’, Winnipeg.

To really get you thinking about this, I want to share with you a quote a friend shared with me. A very dear friend of mine recently attended a Propel Women conference in Phoenix, Arizona. The quote from founder Christine Caine was simple... she shared a fact.

“There are 27 million slaves in the world today.
There are over 2 billion Christians.”

Perhaps ‘walking the walk’ and ‘letting our actions speak louder than words’ is something we really need in internalize and recognize what it looks like to know we can directly impact the life of one of those people held captive today. Not even half of us need to do something—but we should all do more than is expected of us to truly try to live a life like Jesus.

I challenge you, take part in the Walk for Freedom, or even donate to my fundraising page. My goal is to raise $500 dollars. Donate what you can-- $2, $5, $50, $100. Regardless of your choice to donate or not, pray. Pray for those held in bondage to be set free, pray for those doing the capturing to change their ways and realize what they are doing is wrong, pray for the johns in your local city, pray for those who don’t see any other option, just pray for God to work in incredible ways.

While following a Joyce Meyer reading plan on the bible app on my phone, I remember reading one devotion, which I still think about this day. I read it on June 4^th, 2012. Here is what it read:

One morning I was having my quiet time along with God, and I said to the Lord, “God, how can You stand seeing all the pain, starving children, human trafficking, genocide, injustice, degradation, poverty, in the world and not do something?”I didn’t say it as a complaint or because I was questioning His integrity, and I don’t even know that I was really expecting to get an answer, but I just asked Him.Immediately His answer came back: “I work through people. I’m waiting for My people to arise and do something”

It’s time.

It’s time for us a group of passionate individuals to arise and do something. To walk the walk and take action instead of being the slactivists we are more commonly known to be. It takes effort, commitment, and truly believing in something to take action for the world to see. Be someone who stands for what is right. Be someone who is answering the call of God to be one of His people working towards something positive in the world.

Namaste

I had a few friends in Hamilton who told me I would enjoy yoga if I tried it. They were avid yogi’s who absolutely loved the benefits hot yoga had to offer. While they may have suggested I try out the practice, I never did in a studio setting. I did, however, enjoy doing 'Yoga with Adriene' on Youtube.

When my wonderful husband accepted the opportunity to play drums at the Hard Rock Café in Dubai for a few months, I was left with a lot of free time to fill in order to distract me from the fact that it's just me and Bourbon at the apartment. Enter, yoga. Being thankful for the lesser cost of a trial membership, I embarked on a journey of yoga-- first at Moksha, and now, at Yoga Public.

I’ve enjoyed what practicing yoga has offered. 

The physical benefits of practicing are getting in a workout that doesn’t necessarily feel like a workout, and participating in at least 5 classes per week.  

The mental benefits are incredible-- one complete hour where I am fully present in the moment of what I am doing. While challenging myself physically, I do so without feeling hard on myself as I’m pleasantly surprised at what I am capable of and rarely feel discouraged when I try, then fall. Learning to concentrate strictly one thing only, preventing the mind from wandering, has been fascinating. 

The final collaborator is the emotional benefits which, for me, has been getting out of the apartment and realizing I found something I actually enjoy doing!

To receive the optimal benefits of a trial membership, one must always try as many different classes as humanly possible. Yoga Public has this variety aspect down from basic hot flow classes, to hot core classes, yin, meditation, detox, and, my new favourite for ending my work week, floating yoga and meditation.

*I’d just like to take a moment to say that yes, I am a Christian, and yes, I am doing yoga and loving it. I know some people don’t understand how to mesh the two together in such a way they feel they aren’t compromising their faith. I think I’ve done an alright job of it. Being aware of what the instructors are saying and mentally saying to yourself ‘yes, I agree with this’ or ‘no, I don’t’ is enough to keep myself grounded in my own faith, while exploring the many benefits of yoga.*

The floating yoga and meditation is done in the yoga hammock/swing thing (so technical, I know) and is some super fun yoga first, with meditation to follow. This past weeks class was guided by a new (to me) instructor and she was absolutely lovely. The meditation focused on breathing in with the intention and expectation of ‘receiving’, and breathing out to the idea of 'letting go’. At the end of class, the mantra was paired with the challenge to take forward the objective of being fully present in every moment—not allowing yourself to be distracted. To just be and see the difference it makes with friends and family, and even your pets! While I enjoyed this immensely (along with the essential oils and ambiance touches of music, candles and gong), she spoke one phrase that captured me...

Thanks, Pinterest!

With our hands at ‘heart centre’, she spoke of compassion, and love, and all those gorgeous things that come from our heart. She then guided us to take our hands and gently cup our eyes. She spoke of how we need to take the love and compassion from our hearts, and use those to shape what we see through our eyes. For anyone that has read my latest blog post, you know this sentiment is on point with what I try (and both succeed and fail at trying) to do in my life.

While yoga can be filled with chants I don’t take part in because I don’t know what they mean, new age philosophy where a hot flow sequence was created to honour the blue moon (yes, it happened), or other general phrases of third eyes and things I know nothing about, there are moments where beliefs collide and the message and mantra resonates from deep within, making my practice feel all the more engaging on every possible level.

  

Every class ends with your teacher thanking you for sharing your practice and the simple phrase of ‘Namaste’. I was once told that Namaste means ‘the light in me acknowledges and honours the light in you’. I love this definition. We are all amazing and created in the image of God—I can't fathom a more perfect phrase to say to someone than the simple message of how you acknowledge and honour how God is living in them and through them.

Namaste.

**If you’ve never tried yoga, I encourage you to check it out Most places have ‘Karma Classes’--  anyone can attend for a fee of a suggested donation to attend the class. The donated money goes to a charity.